We all deal with addictions and we all deal with trauma. We can pretend that it isn't, but it is. And I really think that we should all take the load off of this. Why? Because there is so much potential in the field that is then released. Imagine... If we break the taboo and take away the weight of addiction and trauma... What would happen then?
First of all, so much would be released. First of course pain, sadness, anger and all that nastiness. But when that is released, there is so much growth, joy and freedom underneath. That is purely what I have experienced in all the transformations that I have undergone myself, but also those that I have guided. And that pain that is released, there is also beauty in it. Of course, all under the right guidance. You don't have to do it alone.
But where does that heaviness around addiction and trauma come from? Why do we all make such a big deal out of it? (I'm generalizing here). While we all have it. Everyone has a backpack.
I believe it is mainly due to a misinterpretation of the words. Because let's start with addiction. What is it anyway?
Addiction is not just being extremely dependent on alcohol, drugs and gambling. Addiction is also excessive social media use, working too much, exercising too much, negative thoughts and actions and numbing yourself with food. Now let's go to the word numbing that I mention here.
What do you want to numb? What do you not want to feel? What do you push away?
The word numbing mainly says that addictive behavior is not in the drug, but in wanting to push something away. And wanting to push something away, such as pain, sadness, fear, anger or anxiety creates addictive behavior. And that then means that we can stop addictive behavior by healing what we are trying to numb. It is that simple and that complicated at the same time. I am just making it simple here, so that it is understandable.
To elaborate on this a little further. Don't we all have pain, sadness, fear, anger or unrest? Some more than others, but we all have to deal with it. And that pain, sadness, fear, anger or unrest comes from somewhere. Where does it come from? We can completely link it to experiences from the past. Something you have experienced in this life, another life, something you carry with you from your (fore)parents or have taken over from your environment. But if you take something over from your environment, it already means that you have a resonance with it. Otherwise you do not take it over. But where do all the emotions mentioned above come from? From a traumatic experience.
The same applies here as with the word “addiction”. Trauma is also layered. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to deal with abuse, a father who died young, years of bullying, life-or-death situations, war situations or other, in our words, "intense situations." It can also come from a “simple” rejection in your younger years, because someone said you weren’t good enough. Or you were laughed at while giving a presentation in front of the class. This can also affect how you feel later in life.
In other words, we all have to deal with a backpack of traumatic experiences.
If you then start working with this backpack, from which the addictive behavior also comes. And you start working on this transformatively… The methods you can use for this are endless. Then you will see that the addictive behavior will diminish. And the more transformative work you do here, the more it will also disappear.
This in turn means that the entire beliefs of “I am addicted and I always will be” and “I am my trauma” can be thrown straight into the trash throw. Why? Because we are not, we experience it. Just like you are not your feelings and thoughts, but you do experience them. You do have to deal with them. And why choose to hold on to this when you also have the choice to let it go?
So if we all have to deal with this, because we can probably conclude that everyone sometimes has pain, feels sad or experiences fears. That this can always be linked back to a (traumatic) experience from the past. And that we all have our own mechanisms of numbing to deal with that…
Is it then still necessary to leave that load on us, while we are all dealing with it?
Wouldn't we be better off just throwing it open so that everything underneath can come loose?
And if we open that up and everything comes loose… Aren't we entering a whole new era of change together?
I believe I am a living example of how transformative work can work. Just look at the picture where there is a three year time difference. We can change/transform ourselves on all levels. Nothing is fixed, everything is in motion. But what is fixed (for me) is that we are the creators of our lives and therefore determine how we live.
Love,
Brian
Curious about my whole story and what I do now? Then read my first book “It could have ended differently”