There's a lot going on at the moment…
Not only in the world, but also in me. The past few days have been quite intense. Sometimes it seems as if I am only in a process and one painful part after another may be healed. I sometimes experience that as heavy, intense and intense. At the moment I am in a part of old heartache. Old relationships are coming up, both love relationships and friendships. Relationships that were broken from the other side and relationships that I myself have stepped out of. Apparently it is now time to be allowed to feel all that and to heal it.
I continuously feel a rumbling of energy in and around my heart chakra. Sadness that goes up in combination with a higher heart rate. Really one of those feelings that make you think… I want to run away. I don’t want to feel it. Make it stop. It makes me vulnerable and that vulnerability is still really difficult for a part of me sometimes. This morning I even felt sick from it. It wants to get out of my system and that’s okay. My intention today is also to allow it all and that’s why I’m writing this message. Especially because I think that many people also encounter this. Both men and women. Only we as men often try to push it away. We don’t want to feel it, because softness, love and vulnerability are not male qualities that are accepted and felt in today’s society. Strange, isn’t it? If you think the body away, we are all beings of light. We are all equal. Man and woman. Black and white. If you think it away and look through it, we are all the same. Everything is one in the end. And in essence, as far as I know, there is no male or female. There is only the energy. Softness, love, compassion, anger and sadness. In my reality, softness and vulnerability can be both male and female, anger and strength can be both male and female. Only we have linked the qualities ourselves to male and female. This means that we as both male and female can and may embody all emotions and qualities. All you have to do is allow it. All you have to do is embrace the emotions that you want to stand for.
Wanting to do it all right
And then there is the part of wanting to do everything well, to feel good and of course preferably not to make any mistakes at all. Something about not wanting to fail and wanting to perform. Afraid that it is not good enough and those kinds of feelings. Afraid that you are an outsider. It makes me human, just like it makes you human. It cannot always go well and I have to accept that too. Mistakes may be made and you learn from mistakes. I also see them as a gift. It takes me further in life and ensures that I may become and be my best version more and more. And the fact that it is a gift does not necessarily mean that it feels good. I sometimes forget that.
I am a lightworker. And I think this is also the first time that I say this so openly and share it on Facebook. Perhaps it fell between sentences or words at some point, but now I also feel that I can officially come out of the closet as a lightworker. It feels good to type this and confirm it to myself. And my goal as a lightworker is to heal myself first. That is super intense every now and then, but it is all worth it. I know what I am doing it for. Not only for myself, but also for the world and everything that lives on this planet. There is certainly still a piece of ego in me, but I am also starting to realize more and more that it is not about me. It is about something much bigger. And I would like to contribute to that bigger picture. That is one of the reasons that I work very hard on myself, besides the fact that I feel that I also need healing for personal goals. I feel that I can help humanity and that I can create beautiful, great things in this life without passing myself by. There are beautiful ideas in my head. I have the drive and if I look past the uncertainties I dare say that I also have the right energy for it.
Lightworker qualities
By sharing this with you, I also hope to show that it is not always all roses and moonshine and has to be. It is a journey with ups and downs. We all feel bad sometimes and we all know the feeling of heartache. Try to embrace those feelings. And that does not always work either. That also makes you human. I hope to inspire you, to show that it can be different. And in doing so, I especially hope to inspire men and to show that it is okay to show and feel your emotions. And there is a chance that there is a lightworker in you too. On the Bridgeman website I looked for a list of characteristics of a lightworker. The link is there if you recognize yourself in these characteristics and want to read more about it. Read the full article here.
- Lightworkers always feel different. Often even different from the family they grew up in.
- Lightworkers are individualists who follow their own (unbeaten) path.
- Lightworkers have a very bad reaction to authority and displays of power from ego.
- Lightworkers are born caregivers, which can manifest itself in different ways.
- Lightworkers often have a spiritual awareness from a very young age. They feel attracted to awareness.
- Many lightworkers have a sense of homesickness, often without knowing where home is. They feel like strangers on Earth.
- Lightworkers have an innate respect for life. Aggression towards animals and plants affects them. They often stand up for people and animals in difficult circumstances.
- Lightworkers often have difficulty with conflict, aggression and standing up for themselves.
- Most Lightworkers are gentle, sensitive and empathetic. Often a conditioned mask has developed over this during life.
- Especially as children, most lightworkers are dreamy, airy-fairy and do not feel well grounded.
- Lightworkers can very easily pick up negative emotions from others, and if they don't learn how to process them, it can lead to huge emotional problems.
- Because lightworkers have lived many lives on earth that were marked by spirituality and religion, they often feel an affinity with spirituality, with traditions and with religions. In the past they were rejected and persecuted, which has left traces and can also lead to an allergy to spirituality.