Yesterday I had a beautiful first Kambo ceremony guided by Juul Ligthart ! Thank you for guiding me sweetheart. What a gift. I just didn't know you would look like a frog yourself, today my face looks like a frog too.
I had the idea to finish my online training today and tomorrow, but with a face like that maybe not such a good idea… Although it would be super funny. 
I think Kambo is a wonderful medicine. In terms of intensity, I found it quite bearable this first time. Of course, that doesn't mean that this is always the case, but I expected it to be worse. I was a bit afraid of getting sick. I didn't find the holes being burned, where the frog poison is applied, that scary. I didn't find the two liters of water that you have to drink in quick succession before the ceremony to be that much of a problem either. For me, it was mainly about: how sick am I going to get and will that make me anxious? I had a quick two-second check-up, a quick feeling of panic, but that disappeared almost immediately.
Getting sick and throwing up turned out to be uncomfortable, but at the same time a great relief. I do feel like I have let go of quite a bit, but above all I really feel like I now have free passage to the New Me. My intention was to awaken on a different and deeper level for me, resulting in a deeper surrender and being more in my power.
After the release I got some nice insights. I was allowed to lie down and the messages came in.
1) The first message that kept repeating itself was that only the NOW is important. I saw that both the past and the future were pushed aside, so that there is only NOW. I also notice a lot more peace in that area now.
2) The second message was that I should take good care of myself, others and the earth.
3) With the third and fourth messages I quickly became emotional. Tears started streaming down my cheeks. I really want to live and I missed that so much. I want to travel, dance and have fun. Tears flowed from sadness, happiness and gratitude.
4) And then came the unconditional love I feel for Esther Geskus past. I felt so much love, tears flowed even more. When I realized that I can only feel that unconditional love, because I am it myself… Then they started to flow even more.
What a wonderful first acquaintance this has been. In the car on the way home I felt full of love and gratitude.
Now the day after I still have a swollen face haha. I had the idea to finish my online training, but oh well.. Yesterday I was taught to throw up so I surrender to the process.
Everything is going exactly as it should.
Ah