Tantra is incredibly wonderful. A year ago I was still full of resistance to walk the tantric path. I was full of judgments. Judgments with which I mainly limited myself. A limited mindset in the area of sexuality and thinking very much in boxes.
I was full of projection to avoid and suppress my own pain points. Tantra is a well-disguised word for people who are just looking for s*x. There are only men there who are looking for women. Those are just two judgments that I carried with me.
As soon as someone started talking about tantra I went into complete resistance. All the walls went up. It really did something to me. But why?
I didn't know… All I knew was that I had to stay away from it because it wasn't for me.
But I was just scared. Afraid to open myself up and admit my sexuality. Afraid of rejection and afraid of everything I would encounter within myself during this journey.
Esther decided to give me a tantra festival in Portugal last year. Not really a gift I was very happy with, but I understood why she gave it to me.
She saw the potential in my masculine power and my sexual energyShe saw that I could connect on much deeper levels. Layers that I myself did not see at all.
So I decided to adventure to go on. Last summer I went to two tantra festivals and those were wonderful experiences, of course with a lot of resistance and confrontation, but also super loving.
Those two experiences opened something in me, something I found very exciting, something I found scary, but also something that had aroused my curiosity. That curiosity was allowed to mature.
During those two tantra festivals I was introduced to a feeling of Love and Connection that I had never experienced before. In addition, I was in such a deeper connection with Esther came. And Once you have touched a deeper layer, you long to go back there.
But it needed time.. It was allowed to mature for about half a year.. Until I saw an advertisement on Facebook for a Tantra Intensive Training at Bliss Your Body.I knew immediately that I was allowed to follow this training. This was my calling.
The past four days I have immersed myself in the first block of the training. And wow!! This was so incredibly loving, beautiful and magical.
At times it was confronting, but I had decided for myself to approach everything with Consciousness. I did that. And what I, apart from all the (playful) exercises, was allowed to experience is the following:
– The belief that tantra is only about s*x can go in the trash. It was already possible, but now it is even more so. It is certainly also about your (sexual) life energy, but that is precisely what is beautiful.
– For me, Tantra is walking the path of embodied spirituality.
– Tantra for me is about connecting to deeper levels with myself and with life. And I feel that this is happening now.
– Opening myself up to a whole group is safe. That works well with all the lectures 😉
– I can be who I want to be and that is also safe.
– It is safe to experience all emotions in connection with others. From being excited to feeling lonely. It is completely safe.
– Oh yeah… I can play tantric.
– Oh yes… It’s lovely to caress your own legs.
– Oh yes… Tantra is full of possibilities.
– And oh yeah.. I can be SEXY!!
I feel so grateful and full of love after this weekend. I am fully recharged. Life feels more peaceful and soft, both inside and outside. I feel so much love for myself, for Esther and all the people who were there the past four days. And I am so grateful for all the new friendships.
I am so looking forward to continue this path and mix it with all the transformation skills. First in my own life and later also in the sessions, workshops and retreats!
Aho and lots of love to you! 😍😍
Brian