For me a magical year with beautiful transformations. A year with challenges, difficulties, struggles and a year with bliss, ease and freedom. It is so beautiful to experience what life gives you when you open and expose yourself. I really wish that for everyone. I also feel so much gratitude for last night. That I can facilitate an evening for twenty-five beautiful souls. It really feels like a privilege to be able to set this up and that these weekly activations may come through me. I also feel so grateful that those beautiful souls join in the beautiful circles that we create together. So thank you for that. 😍
I have also made the decision to continue doing this. Something inside me tells me that this is good. That this is the intention. I feel a lot of love for it. And whether that is every week, I do not know yet, but in any case when I feel it and experience the invitation inside. Because waiting for the invitation is something I am learning to embody.
I myself sometimes have the tendency to post for the sake of posting, because I have to be visible, right? People have to be able to find me. It is funny to experience that when I post just to quickly post something, it actually results in less interaction. And when I write from my heart and from my inner being based on the invitation, it comes across more and touches people.
I often just write what comes to mind. When I start typing, a story often comes out automatically. For me, that is very normal. And I realize at moments like now that I can be grateful for that. That it is a gift that has been given to me and that I can share it. But based on the invitation, not because I have to 😉.
And I sometimes find that a challenge. In our society we are so used to working from nine to five. Always having to perform. Working hard for your money. I never really fit into that. Around noon my energy was often gone. That's why I drank way too much coffee, Ritalin was a great medicine to keep going all day and I often threw in a pre-workout to go to the gym.
I have always run into that. Even on Terra Nova. Everything is magnified there, so of course I was confronted with that. Then I came into contact with Human Design, probably half a year ago. There I learned that there are five different energy types. Manifestors, Generators, Manifesting Generators, Projectors and the Reflectors. There I now appear to be able to embody the energy of the Projector type. That caused many puzzle pieces to fall into place. And in recent days it has been playing up more often.
For example, as a projector I may wait for the invitation. If I push things through myself or step forward, that is often not appreciated. Very recognizable, because I was often called a know-it-all and/or arrogant. Now I understand more that I really may wait for the invitation. Then I am more in my power. Quite a challenge if you are used to always having to perform and continue from the system. Another characteristic of the projector is his or her energy battery. Where manifesting generators can go on all day long, when it gives them joy, I as a projector need peace, silence and space. My energy system is not designed to go on all day long. I need time to process, to rest and to do absolutely nothing. Also a challenge every now and then.
It does give peace. Now that I am getting to know my energy system better and better, I also know what I am allowed to do when I feel bad, empty or when I get irritated quickly. Then it means me-time. And I am learning to anticipate that now. A challenge for me is not to go along with the energy of others. I can often go along with that, but I do not have a battery that recharges itself. At some point I fall over. Then my battery is empty. Then I really fall off. I recognize that my whole life. I already ran out of energy at parties. Although that also had another reason haha. But also at work. At Terra Nova also. Here in the Netherlands also when I am not aware of it.
The invitation, there you have it again, to trust my own system more. The invitation to feel what my system and body need. Learning to listen to the signals my body gives off. That is what I am already taking with me into 2020 and into my 30th year of life that starts on December 30th.
Love and hugs to you,
Your boy B