It could have ended differently… years of manipulating, lying, numbing and fleeing. Years of partying. What started as a fantastic party ended in me completely losing myself. I sank deeper and deeper, I shut myself off from others and lost myself in drinking and drug use. Completely closed off from who I really was.. I was in so much pain, sorrow and fear. In the end I couldn’t even stand at a party without being completely afraid and always afraid that I would fall away. Then it was over..
It's time to tell the story
Now it's time to tell the story behind this. In some ways I still find it a bit scary, because this also means that I'm going to expose myself completely. Also to family, friends and others who are close to me. But I promise you that I won't hold anything back and will be completely honest. Even if it wasn't so nice. And I certainly won't hold back from taking the beautiful moments with me, because god did I laugh a lot.
Tomorrow I will start this new journey during a writing week here in the Netherlands. Writing a story of a boy who completely lost himself in partying, drinking and drugs, relationships, work and friends. Now I am full of love and I am increasingly confident and surrendered to life. In a year and a half I have been able to completely turn my life around, I work at a fantastic organization, I work with a beautiful man, I have a new love, what a beautiful soft woman, I live at Terra Nova and I see a future for me full of love, humor, connection and I am completely ready for it. Ready to live. Ready to walk my path. Ready to embody my mission in its entirety. But it could have ended differently…
And even if it is only for my healing process. Then the story is already a success. If I can help other young people and festival-goers with it, then that is only a bonus. I have not been doing it for the money for a long time, which I still did partly half a year ago. My motivation is different... my motivation is freedom, consciousness expansion and healing. Not only for me, but also for the earth and everyone who is open to it.
Aho 🐺💚