Pfff… let me start with that.
How hard life can feel sometimes. You have all kinds of beautiful and deep desires inside, but sometimes it just doesn't come out. Maybe you recognize that? You make all kinds of plans for yourself, but nothing comes out of your hands. There is a big chance that you experience this as frustrating. At least I do. Especially if the things you would like to create feel very important to you. Inside you could even feel that it is of vital importance.
If it doesn't happen, it can even give a sense of danger. Fear of failure perhaps. The pain of not being able to accomplish something takes over. Stress feelings arise, pressure on the chest, cramps in the body, rapid breathing. In short, there is panic.
What is being tapped?
You start off with having to do all sorts of things, because damn that feeling is really not nice. You want to get rid of it as soon as possible. Maybe it even has to go away. I've had those moments a lot and they still come up every now and then. In the past I could completely get caught up in them. With all the consequences. Nowadays I know that I'm allowed to sit with it. What's happening inside me now? Why do I have the feeling that I suddenly have to do all sorts of things? What pain is being touched?
For me, there is often a fear of failure underneath. Not being good enough. The feeling of not being able to do it well, while I want to do it so badly. A deeper trauma often lies underneath. It is nice to have awareness of that. It also gives peace to know what is going on in my system. And as with everything, this also goes in layers. Each time a layer deeper. Be aware of what is going on.
More and more coming home to my own being. Instead of running, having to perform, having to work hard, having to meet the expectations and projections of others, adapting myself and always having to be ready. I was so done with that. It demolished me from the inside out and it drained me.
Feeling safe on earth
Another layer is feeling safe on earth. A feeling that it is safe to land in my own body. A feeling that it is safe to turn inward. Because although it can be painful and frustrating at times. Your answers are not in the outside world, they are waiting inside you.
I am starting to feel more and more Self-Confidence. There is currently a shift from everything will be fine to everything is already fine. Self-forgiveness is emerging on all levels. In its place comes being happy and at peace with my own being. No longer wanting to be someone else, but only wanting to return to my own essence. Putting myself first. And from there contributing and being of service to the collective. Not the other way around, but from a healthy basis of self-love, self-esteem and self-acceptance. It starts with me. It starts with you. It starts with a healthy and safe foundation of the I.
That is what I wish for you too. Through the past years of deep transformation and healing I can now say that I am happy with who I am. Of course there is always more depth to be found, but the basis is that I feel safe in my own body. That I have confidence in myself, that I am carried, that I can and may love myself. I am increasingly coming into my power. I choose my own truth and my essence.
Is that always easy?
No, of course not. That doesn't make everyone happy and sometimes there is resistance from outside. But that's the beauty of it. I don't feel a struggle there anymore. I can let it be there from love. And if it affects me, I know right away that I'm allowed to sit with it and it's just a gift to further realize myself. I know what I have to do. What I'm allowed to do. And I want you to do that too.
That is also what we are going to do during Homecoming on February 12 and Sunday February 27. Homecoming in ourselves, in who we are and who we long to be. On Sunday February 12 we will already receive eight beautiful participants and there are still a few spots available on that date.
Do you feel the calling and do you feel a yes now? Then you can register via: https://www.brianvanleeuwen.com/thuiskomen-one-day-retreat/