In the meantime I have landed here on the magical Terra Nova. It feels like coming home and in the Netherlands I also realized that Terra Nova is simply my home. That gives me a grateful and happy feeling. On the other hand, the Netherlands feels more and more distant and that makes it difficult at times. Last week in the Netherlands I didn't feel very comfortable either. Don't get me wrong. It is wonderful to see my parents again, visit family and cuddle my doggo. I feel love for them and you should cherish that love. That's how I feel too. It was also wonderful to have some more time to read books and just do absolutely nothing. Only the Netherlands itself was quite confronting. People with face masks everywhere. I could feel the fear and apparently I also have backdoor entrances for that, because I have been walking around with a restless feeling and feelings of flight almost the entire week. That made it a challenge to stay in my own energy. Today I was allowed to release the energy I had taken over from the Netherlands and thus get it out of my system. I immediately feel a lot better now. It remains special how you can take over energy from others or from a collective and tap into it.
Connecting is beautiful
The first day in the Netherlands I visited my cousin Jerry. It was really nice to connect with him and it also felt really nice to talk about spirituality together. It actually came as a surprise that he found it so interesting. Someone in the family who is open to that? Cool! The next day I still felt very restless. That day I had arranged to meet Marijke and luckily she suggested we take a lovely walk on the beach, dunes, forest. Running after the seagulls and collecting feathers. Feet in the cold sea water. And then risotto is served for dinner (my favorite food). Fantastic! You can wake me up for that. It is beautiful to see how connections are created. Soft, open, honest and pure. Barely knowing each other, but wishing each other the best and being there for each other in love and softness. Helping and supporting each other in processes and the healing process. How beautiful would the world be if we all treated each other like that? Not only when it flows nicely and the vibration level matches, but simply always. Even if you don't like certain people, you can still act with gentleness and compassion.
Insights from connections
The insight that it has also given me is that you can and may always be yourself with someone. When you are yourself and act from openness and softness, you get the same back from the other. Another insight that it has also given me is that everything flows wonderfully when you are on the same vibration level. Everything goes automatically and easily without any difficult behavior. If I may give the beast a name. When you become further apart due to, for example, other interests or take a different path in your life, it can be that it actually starts to flow less. You have fewer connections. And then it can become more difficult. And that is how I now feel that I am also coming into more contact with my cousin, because he is open to the spiritual part. Interesting!
Pieces were tapped
The feeling of not being good enough. It keeps coming up every now and then. Also in the week of the Netherlands. Does she like me? Am I doing well for my cousin? Am I paying enough attention to my parents? And what if it doesn't work out? Have I failed then? Will I be rejected then? And those are also beautiful parts that I still struggle with myself. Not being good enough, fear of rejection and fear of failure. And in the Netherlands I was confronted with that a bit more. At least it became a bit more visible. I am grateful for that, because this means that I can work on it again. And secretly I am also a bit proud of that. In the past I would have completely dived into that part of rejection, failure or not being good enough. Now I am starting to see through it and I increasingly have the choice to step into those feelings or to feel it and get out of it again. It is allowed to be there and it does not have to influence my choices and behavior if I am aware of it. And I'm not talking about the times when I'm not aware of it, because there will definitely be those too.
Let that energy flow through those hands
Reiki 2 was also on the program in the Netherlands. What an experience. Very different again from Reiki 1. Logical too. With Reiki 2 you also work in the emotional and mental layer where with Reiki 1 you are only focused on the physical layer. During the initiation symbols were placed in my hands and I was officially initiated to be allowed to give Reiki 2. It also really amazes me that you can feel exactly when you enter the emotional layer of the body and when you pass the mental layer. That you can feel where blockages are in the energetic body. Working on feeling and from intuition and letting the hands guide. What you really do is stop your mind and yourself. You present yourself as an empty shell and pass on energy from the universe. It is special what you feel. You can even feel in your own body where the aches and pains of the person on the table are. Cool, right? And then you treat those energetic blockages with your hands. Let the energy flow again. I look forward to continuing to learn and work with Reiki after the integration time.
Feet in the clay
Sometimes I really want to fly and connect with the universe. Discover all the secrets and travel. What I find challenging is to stay grounded. While it is so important. After all, we have to do it here on earth and we have chosen it ourselves. It is therefore not the intention to travel somewhere in the universe all the time, no matter how nice it is and how exciting, interesting and mysterious. The feet in the clay are necessary. I am beginning to realize that more and more. I also realize that you can have all those beautiful experiences. You can deal with many different energies. That is all possible. Only integrating and making it your own only works if you are well grounded. And that means focusing on the feet in the clay. Focusing on the feet with the meditations, occasionally jumping and coming back into that body. Realizing more and more that I have to do it here. And that is how it is! It has also been said to me for a while, but it only sinks in when you start to see it yourself. When you see the value of it yourself. If you don't see that, people can talk whatever they want, but it won't get through (in my case :P)
Aho <3