Do you know what else is so beautiful about transformative work? That every now and then you can also enjoy the DDD (that's what Esther called it yesterday). Enjoy being with your Being the thick sticky goo in. And I feel like I've been in the last three days DDD. In the past I would have quickly reached for the narcotics. Alcohol, a white line, hard work or just super much food. Anything to not have to feel.
Today I am so grateful that this era is behind me. No more narcotics to not have to feel my own pain points and processes anymore. And that is so nice, that makes the DDD less heavy. In any case, it is so that it only becomes suffering when you start fighting certain emotions and thoughts. When you stop fighting, the suffering disappears. In the end, anger is just anger and joy is just joy. It is we ourselves who place a projection on it. And let it be so that we can remove the projection by going inside and looking for it in ourselves. What does it say about me? What does it do to me?
Not fighting and struggling, but investigating with a curious eye. This will give you so much.
Less than a year ago, when I ended up in a transformation process, it often had to be transformed immediately. Note the word "must". Also a sign that something is not allowed to be there and another form of "avoidance behavior". Today I can just let it be. Of course it feels annoying, painful and like now heavy. But that's okay. I explore the depth of it. And when the time is right, probably today, I dive into it and look at it. If it is not time today, I let the process ripen further.
Sometimes things take time. I believe more and more in divine timing. Things happen when they are supposed to happen. And when something is not meant to happen, it doesn't happen. It's that simple. Honestly, when you don't have to resist it anymore, but can just let it be. Fantastic!
And I know now that everything happens for a good reason. The past few years have shown me that. So has the feeling of the DDD the past few days.
I am fortunate that I have the gift of being able to feel, see and know where my path is unfolding. A gift that also comes through me in the 1-on-1 sessions and trajectories that I guide. But at this moment I feel a breakthrough that is coming. I am going through a ceiling that I had previously imposed on myself, boundaries and limitations disappear.
And that breakthrough… I feel it around the creation and inspiration surrounding my book, but also in the connection with myself and with Esther.
If you have read my book, you know that connection is a theme for me. That was what my entire addiction was based on. And now I find myself in a new field where I may break through, so that I may experience an even more beautiful and intense connection with myself, with Esther and with everyone I am "connected" with.
But before that happens... I may first go through the DDD with myself. And I do that with attention, with awareness and with much love for myself and the other.
Processes are either a gift or suffering, it just depends on how you look at it.
Love,
Brian
(These photos were taken during my lecture for young people at the Lek en Linge college in Culemborg)